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My Very Short Job at Apple Computer

Posted by Keith Elder | Posted in Apple | Posted on 01-04-2008

UPDATE: This post was posted on April 1st and thusly is an April Fool’s.  It was posted about 5.5 hours after another post that was also an April Fool’s that started the whole thing.  Maybe now the emails and phone calls will stop.  🙂

I spent weeks writing up the previous article I posted to this blog this morning about how I had joined the silver card carrying members club at Apple.  Congratulations poured in from the community congratulating me on my accomplishment.  My Macbook Pro and iPhone were already on order as well as my wife and I were shopping for houses in California.  For once I thought, I might be able to make her happy.  A few moments ago my world came crumbling to an end.  I received an email from legal at corporate.

Mr. Elder,

…… (legal blah blah)

…. as you are aware each employee at Apple must sign an employment contract.  Any violation of that contract may result in immediate termination.  Due to the article you published this morning on your blog about your new job at Apple, we regretfully must inform you that your position at the company has been terminated, effective immediately.

…… (more legal blah blah)

……our legal counselors will be contacting you soon.

I spared you the legal jargon in the body of the letter but the main reason my tenure at Apple was short lived is because I used certain words that hadn’t been approved by marketing in my previous post such as:   iPrize, iTalk, and iNet.  Ultimately the word that drove the nail in my coffin was iWeb. 

To those of you who wished me farewell in numerous emails, Twitters, personal phone calls and more, I say thank you.  All of your warm wishes and congratulations make this blow seem easier to swallow.

I received an order cancellation moments after my termination email.  My dreams of owning a shinny new silver Macbook Pro and an iPhone are all but faded memories now.    The hardest part was telling the real estate agent in California the bad news.

My words of wisdom for anyone getting a job at Apple.  Just don’t blog about anything. 

For those in the Microsoft community I only hope that you can forgive my transgression of wanting to work on really cool technology that could have changed world.  Please let me back into your circle.

Sincerely,

 

Elder, The